The Babysitter

How could've I predicted that I would be in such a predicament. I think that we would be perfect for each other, complimenting our weaknesses. You really do bring out the best of me, and I hope you see that. At first glance, I would've never expected to repeat what you said. The Phenomena was enough to make me dwell on you for hours. Right now, at such a fragile time, I need you. But I'll let it grow before anything happens. Rushing it would only break it sooner. So i'll enjoy this flirting phase, as long as I can, until I just cant take it anymore. Right now, you're the center of my world.

what a night.

preparing anyone about to read this, this is a rant. Be prepared. Okay so tonight I talk to Caitlin about breaking up and stuff. She responds, "Just tell me, when you do this are you going to regret it?" I obviously respond no, and she pulls out the anniversary gift that cost me $30 and just gives it to me. What The Fuck! I lost it, and had uncontrollable tears flowing down my face. The predestined plot of this night quickly turned on me. I was lost, heart broken, and fatigued. Oh but wait there's more. I was getting harsh looks all night from her, everyone in choir thinks me and evan are gay. Like come on, there are plenty of other guys with guy friends. How does that make me homo. Anyway I decided to trust evan and go to iHop, whereas everyone else had left to go to in-n-out. The logical cheap choice. But no, iHop. I already know that everyone he had invited would bail. So it ended up being me, his friend, and him. His friend the know it all, cocky ass hole. I order overly priced french toast. Evan this breakfast meal, and John a shake. If it weren't making fun of me, then john didn't speak. He proceeds to my car afterwards, hits my window, and says "turn it off reverse dumb ass." I swear I will never talk to that fuck head again. First impressions last. And that's sticking with me. And now I'm feeling regret, sorrow, and despair. In a somewhat suicidal mood, cause college is coming up, senior project is due, grades coming up. Too Much! I need to leave all of this. I'm so sad and confused, I really just need someone there for me.

commentary.

N: "Sorry I just can't."

K: "Nope sorry."

B: "I don't think so."

Some times this expression of no occurs too many times in my life. I feel I give more than I get in return. I wish someone would see, as well as experience a walk in my shoes, and feel the harsh reality of my life. Too many times. Makes me feel as if they really are busy. Or is this all a plot to send me a message. Ugh, why do I dwell on the ignorant remarks I receive. Oh Blah.

To her:

You make me feel like no other girl has.

I wake up knowing that ill see you. It makes an uncontrollable smile appear on my face.

You were there for me on my B-day, and made it like no other.

I want to know you. All of you.

And I am determined to find out.

I love when we hang out, and you look into my eyes, because I know when i look at yours, I can't escape them.

You are you, I love it.

Don't change, please don't.

I know there is a connection, I've seen it. Don't deny.

I miss you, I......miss you.

I feel as if I don't seize the moment, I will regret it for the rest of my life.

So 2010, be my year.

this has been commentary.

rehearsal.

Today.

Today  was full of different emotions.

Ranging from WTF-Wow.
I can't explain my feelings right now.

It seems as if it will never work out, but I just can't 
leave her.

Idk, i guess i'm stupid for being like this.
But she is just so amazingly  beautiful, as well as talented.

I feel protective of her, though she will never understand it.

Anyway my break has been so-so.
I need to see my friends, like now.

Its been a long boring  break.

Umm other thoughts on my mind, ROBEX!

so ya blog, i shall leave you with a list of favorites.....

Book: 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
Movie: Children of Men
Music: Alternative Rock
Color: Green
Food: idk

so yes, that is all.
just last words.

"I want you to see me for who I am, and what I can be. Give 
me a chance to make you happy."

meh.

"ive just seen a face i cant forget the time or place where we just met she's just the girl

for me, and i want all the world to see her face."

So Wednesday im going to UNIVERSAL STUDIOS. ahhh!!!

im so freakin excited.....you dnt even know.

And im talking to KAYLEE, the coolest, most un-decisive person ever.

Any way I'm in love with life :)

So yep my blog, ill keep more coming, i promise.

-Spencer

skype.

I'm wondering how lady GAGA songs can stick in my head so long.

anyway, umm ya, so im basically having the most funnerawesome night, with the

badass gang.

so ya winter break moving on along.

Im going to universal next week and im stoked :D

blog, bloggist, blogger, blogginistic

all these names of people who blog.

idk random fact.

spencer-recneps

clayton-notyalc

im smoke weed every day, jkjk its a song stuck in my head

lemon head

rainbow flakes

fruity pebbles